Kinky Butch-A Queer View

I recently encountered some negative reaction to feminist/queer porn and it got me thinking. The people who I encountered seemed to be firmly of the opinion that all porn is wrong and against feminist principles. Firstly I admit this is not a topic I know a massive amount about so...

It seems it doesn’t take long once you get into BDSM to gather together a collection of interesting and entertaining toys. Or it certainly didn’t take us very long but maybe we were just exceptionally keen converts! Our toy collection lives in a (reasonably) large chest by the side of...

Language is extremely powerful, the words we use or the labels we apply to ourselves can have a massive impact. During sex or a BDSM scene the use of language can significantly enhance emotion as well as push boundaries and add additional layers to the physical action. In particular, talking...

Everyone has their own individual reality. We all experience life through a host of factors even if we are sharing the same experiences. I could go to a concert along with thousands of others but every single person will see, hear and feel it differently. Physically no one will be...

I identify as a stone butch which means (amongst other things) that I am particular about how and where I am touched. But conversely touch is more important to me since I recognised myself as stone. I am more aware of touch than ever before,I think about it a lot...

We recently went to our local Pride event as we do every year. It is always a big occasion for us which includes lots of family and friends as well as a decent amount of food and alcohol. It was a fabulous day, it didn’t rain, we laughed a lot...

I am a deviant. Everyday I contravene what is considered normal in my society by simply being who I am. I am biologically female, I have female genitalia and breasts yet I never dress in clothes defined as ‘female’, no skirts or dresses or lingerie. I do not behave in...

My last column talked about control and domination, both of which I want yet neither of which is possible without permission. Permission is agreement, acknowledgement and approval. Permission is also consent and freedom. There are for me two types of permission as far as BDSM is concerned, external and internal....

The words control and domination are similar, in the definitions I looked at often each word is used to clarify the other. Control is similar to domination, domination is similar to control, yet they have vastly different connotations for me. Originally this piece was going to be about control, I...

Throughout our adult life we are all faced with choices about how we present ourselves through our clothes, hairstyles, body modifications etc. While we have choices there are certain social, family and peer pressures which we will be subjected to. Sometimes they can be shrugged off, sometimes we cave in...

Naked is not our normal state yet it is our natural one, we’re not born in clothes but are very quickly put into them. Once our bodies are covered there is an increased pressure as we grow into adults to remain covered most of the time. There are few occasions...

As teenagers we go through a period of sexual awakening becoming aware of our bodies and exploring what potentially turns us on. It may be that we question our sexuality, indulge in some experimentation and masturbate. This is of course perfectly natural except I can’t actually remember it happening to...

Lately I’ve been wondering once you have started being kinky, once your feet are on that path can you ever really have vanilla sex again? Or is vanilla lost forever, permanently retired and unreachable through barriers of kink. Of course I can’t answer that question without first considering what vanilla...

I’m a creature of habit, I like things to happen in the order I expect otherwise it can throw me off kilter a bit. Don’t get me wrong I’m no so habit bound that I can’t do new things but in my everyday life I find a certain amount of...

I love labels and I make no secret of it, for me labels have power and I want that power for myself. I appreciate that many people don’t like them, that the idea of being held to a one can be off putting and seem restricting, I can understand that....