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Hardwood Dildos by Hans

As you know, I am an advocate of small artisan-owned businesses, who, with their own unique skills, bring something different to the sex toy market.  Today I am reviewing a hand-carved wooden dildo from Hardwood Dildos by Hans.

Hans lives in Oregon and started making hardwood dildos as a hobby back in 2001 which has now grown into a small business. Here’s a cute photo of him working in his workshop.  What’s not to love!  Personally, I think any guy who hand-carves dildos has got to be cool.

Hans creates beautiful handcrafted dildos from exotic woods.  “Every dildo starts as a piece of a hardwood tree, some grown locally and some tropical. All the pieces I use are scraps from larger projects, salvaged from lumberyards, given to me by friends, or locally milled from trimmed or fallen trees. I don’t buy any wood, trying to minimize my impact on natural resources.”—Hans

So, not only does he make gorgeous handcrafted products, but he does so sustainably, which is pretty smart.  If you happen to have any nice small pieces of wood around that should be put to a good erotic use, send them to Hans.

Hans doesn’t use a lathe to spin his dildos like many other sex toy manufacturers who make wooden sex toys.  Instead, his designs are carved from the wood by hand which brings out the natural beauty of the wood and allows him to create dildos in just about any shape imaginable.  When he says his dildos are unique he means it, for no two hand-carved creations can be exactly alike, although he can “copy” designs he has made before.

“Starting with a block of wood, the first step is cutting the rough shape and any curves on a bandsaw. I do all the carving with a small angle grinder, first carving a cylindrical shape, then any bumps, ribs, or details. A lathe would be quicker, but it couldn’t do some of the details these have, or make curved dildos.”—Hans

Each dildo created by Hans is “sanded to perfection” which make them smooth as silk.  I’m not sure how long it takes to sand each dildo, but it is time consuming process to make these dildos so smooth and flawless.  They feel amazing rubbed on any part of the body and I love the sleek organic feel.  Each dildo is then finished with food grade varnish which “seals the wood, making them safe, waterproof, and natural-feeling.” Hans also does not stain the wood, but leaves them “au natural”, so you don’t need to worry about chemicals from stains.

I ordered a double-ended dildo from Hans made of Cherry Wood.  Other hardwoods he uses includes Apple, Ash, Celam, Haitian Oak, Hornbeam, Locust, Mahogany, Maple, Pau Rosa, Plum, Purpleheart, Walnut, White Oak and Ziracote.  Cherry wood is amber in color with various grains from pale blonde to red running through it.  My photo of this dildo does not do it justice at all.

I wanted this dildo because it is shaped much like my favorite G-spot dildo, the Njoy Pure Wand.  I was curious to see how wood would work with a similar design.  Hans dildo is slightly smaller than the Pure Wand, measuring 7” in length, with the larger head 1 ½” and the smaller head 1” width.  Both ends feel fantastic, although the larger head felt fuller once I was warmed up.

You can use any type of lube with Hans’ toys, but I used a natural water-based lube as that is my preference.  These dildos are easy to clean up after use with just disinfectant hand soap and water.  Do not put in a dishwasher or boil them.

Like the Pure Wand, Han’s curved dildo is perfect for G-spot massage and had me gushing in short order.  Unlike, metal, the wood is warmer and warms up to body temperature quickly.  Wooden dildos also have a very “organic” feel, which makes them feel more in tune with your body, which is also kind of erotic too if you have dreams of having sex with Dryads (tree nymphs).  For me, masturbating with a natural product like wood was very erotic.  If the weather were better I would have gone out into my garden and masturbated under my Willow Tree, which I’m sure would have been an interesting experience, especially for my neighbours!

Seriously though, Hardwood Dildos by Hans are exquisite hand-carved designs that are just as practical as they are beautiful.  I love the fact that Hans is a real person who is obviously passionate about his craft and takes the time to create unique works of sexually-usable art, with attention to detail and high-quality craftsmanship.  It shows in his final work, which are elegant and flawless tools of pleasure.

You can purchase Hardwood Dildos by Hans via his website <> using PayPal, as well as check or credit card.  He currently has about 150 designs available with new designs coming out next month in May.  So be sure to check him out and don’t miss out on owning a one-of-a-kind erotic hardwood dildo which also makes a unique gift.  Each dildo comes with its own velvet pouch and free shipping.

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1 Response

  1. April 21, 2010

    […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by dominadoll. dominadoll said: New Post! Hardwood Dildos by Hans: – […]

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