Knowing When Enough is Enough: Sex, Your Partner and their Boundaries
Let’s get one fact straight… Sex is something that the majority of us enjoy. We all have our different kinks and interests. Some of them we are comfortable sharing with others, however, some of our dirtier fantasies may involve sexual play that we are just not ready to jump into head first.
Think of sex as a set of building blocks. You cannot just build up your tower by starting from the top. It needs a strong and secure foundation before you even think of any top adornments. Without the base, your overall structure would fall down. That is why it is important to take it to stage by stage, building a secure base before moving onto something that is more specialized or, in terms of sex, “wild”.
Whether you are fully confident on the idea of what sort of fetishes appeal to you or are still new to the bedroom, you may feel a little unsure about how far you should push your partners. After all, there are some pretty extreme fetishes out there, and you may feel scared that your partner will not accept you for you. Worse still, you may start to worry that your partner is solely indulging in your fetish to please you. You want them to enjoy sex because it is an act that can bring you both together, not just indulging in your actions because it will make you happy for a few moments. You truly want your intercourse to mean a lot more than just that.
Communication is Key
Whether you are ready to have a passionate night of sex with a long-term partner, or as a quick hook up with some beautiful Manchester Escorts, it is essential to sit down with your potential partner and discuss what turns them on and what turns them off. If you are comfortable enough to have sex with this person then there should be no stigma attached to talking about the things you enjoy. The more open you are about the things you enjoy then the more you will put your partner at ease.
We all have our dirty little secrets, thus you should take comfort in knowing that what you may think is a slightly odd sexual kink may be, in the grand scheme of things, practically nothing in comparison to what other people are getting up to in their bedrooms. The main thing is, as long as you are not hurting anyone, or doing anything without your partners knowing consent, then what you get up to in your own time is your own prerogative.
Keep calm as you talk to your partner about what turns you on. The worst thing they can say to you in return is that they are not into that sort of thing. If that happens then there is always room for a compromise. Sex is all about the idea of switching things up in the bedroom, so on some nights, your partner may be willing to indulge you, whilst on other nights you may be more willing to indulge them. Just talk it out and you will surely find something that you both enjoy doing together.
Trust in Your Partner
If you have enough faith in your partner to trust them to stop when they go past your own boundaries, you need to have faith in them that they will tell you to stop if you end up doing something they dislike. You will find that the majority of your partners will be honest about what they feel. However, if you find that your partner is not telling you about how they actually feel until after the sexual encounter, you will need to have an honest talk about how they are feeling and why they do not feel confident voicing their opinion. While the occasional fake orgasm from your partner can be a bit of a mood killer, it certainly not as bad as knowing that your lover did not enjoy anything about your encounter.
Spice Things Up Slowly
Just because you are eager to jump straight into sex with your partner does not mean you should. After all, you should be taking your time in getting to know your partner’s likes and dislikes. Instead of immediately jumping into the act, why not have fun indulging in some erotic activities beforehand? That way you can watch your partner’s body language and see how they react to certain sexual acts. This could include:
- Making a List of Sexual Activities and ticking off the ones you are comfortable with.
- Watch Porn Together
- Read Erotic Fiction Together
- Consider having sex in a Semi-Public/Public Place
Comfort in Old Habits
You may not have realized this, but did you know that partners actually tend to feel more comfortable with each other if they masturbate together? It is the feeling of ease and the knowledge that your partner feels sexually secure. However, indulging in duo-masturbation can also allow you ample opportunity to see what your partner enjoys and also their own masturbation techniques. So, watch and learn! For you will be able to see how fast your partner likes to go, as well as which spots are their favorites. That way you can avoid going too far and moving past what sexual acts make them feel comfortable.
Respect Your Partner Boundaries
At the end of the day, you are your partner are going to have similar and separate interests when it comes to the bedroom. You will have to accept that while some things will excite you, there will be other things that your partner is more interested in. What is important is that you establish boundaries early on in the relationship and stop when either of you feels uncomfortable. If you take sex slowly, you will be able to learn about what you enjoy. More importantly, you will be able to understand what your partner is feeling and how you can increase their pleasure.