Dragon Tongue Dildo

So.  It is weird toy month, and to continue on with the theme, I have a few more very strange sex toys indeed this week for review.  The first is the fabulous phantasmagoria Dragon’s Tongue by Bad Dragon (www.bad-dragon.com).

Bad Dragon is a US company with a workshop in Arizona who “make toys—particularly the naughty kind—for people who want to indulge in fantasies of their favorite species either in private, or with others.”  But, these aren’t any old sex toys.  Bad Dragon’s sex toys are particularly imaginative, and as their name suggests, often derived from fantasy dragon appendages such as penises and occasionally tongues.

So where does one go about finding a real dragon to draw inspiration from?  Well, unless you are into the Komodo Dragon, or are Little Jackie Paper—the little boy who grows up and loses interest in the imaginary adventures of childhood—Puff the Magic Dragon and others of his kind are pure fantasy.  Which makes it even more extraordinary that Bad Dragon can envision these works of sexual art and bring them to “life’—so-to-speak!

All Bad Dragon toys are made from “high quality, platinum-cure silicone, and is certified by [their] manufacturer for use in contact with the human body.”  They even have a MSDS sheet available to the public so you know their products are body-safe.  Their products are available in a range of firmness from “a super squishy and soft, to a very firm, hard toy.”  They also make a “cored” toy—the Anthro Dragon—which “has a firm, solid core, and a soft, squishy outside layer for the dual pleasures of a firm, solid toy, [with] a softer feel.”  Color choices are just about anything you can imagine from solid, to split toy color and fades.  And, as if that were not enough, you can even get your dragon dick with a “cumtube”—a syringe and tube running the core of the body—for “realistic” squirting of their Cum Lube while you play.  Some toys also have the added bonus of a suction cup base (like the Dragon’s Tongue) so you can mount it to a wall or chair for hands-free solo fun.  All Bad Dragon toys are guaranteed for 25 years and are expected to last a lifetime.  These are excellent quality sex toys that are whimsically designed by skilled crafts people with attention to detail.

the Xenogon (detail)

I’ve been looking at my bad-ass Dragon’s Tongue for about two weeks, imagining how I am going to use a sex toy that is so very different than anything else I have thus encountered.  From the various other strange sex toy specimens that I have for review this month, the Dragon’s Tongue is one of the most unique and beautiful.  For eye candy alone, I love it.  It is shaped in a long curving S from the tapered tip of the tongue to the solid self-standing suction base, measuring 9 insertable inches long and tapering gradually from 0.5 to 3 inches wide.

The Dragon’s Tongue is made of very squishy silicone and extremely flexible.  This is where I encountered the only problem I have with this toy.  Either by design, or the softness of the material, (although I suspect both) this toy is almost not firm enough to use for insertion.  It is rather like trying to hump a flaccid penis, which is first difficult toinsert and once you do, rather tricky to keep inside.  Bad Dragon sent me a bottle of their Cum Lube to use with it—a very effective water-based lube that is similar to saliva and lasts forever.  So, I lubed the Dragon’s Tongue up and went at it.  I really couldn’t get it inside me more than an inch deep without it slipping out again with any kind of thrusting.  I then tried planting it on a chair with the suction cup base which works awesome, but again, I still had trouble keeping that slippery, squishy appendage inside.  I then figured if I couldn’t use it for insertion, then I could use it for tickling my clit or slapping myself around.  It worked very well as a slapper and was fun to play with in this way.  It was less effective as a clit tickler, again due to firmness.

In all fairness, I did choose the strangest of the strange sex toys that Bad Dragon designs, just because it was so cool looking and elaborately made.  Perusing their other dragon penises, I can see that these would be much firmer and better for penetration.  If I had of ordered the Dragon’s Tongue in the most firm of materials, it would have made for a better penetrative tool as well.  So, that is something to keep in mind for the future, as Bad Dragon makes so many fantastic sex toys, I’m sure I will be wanting to order another one soon.  And, with each review of their toys you get $5 off your next purchase, which is very cool.  Both the Xenogon and the Gryphon are on my want list for the future, so stay tuned for more weird sex toy reviews from this inventive company.

The Gryphon

In addition to the amazing toys these guys and gals create, their customer service it top notch.  They have a forum on site where you can read all about how to use their toys, offer suggestions, and get feedback.  Their products also come with a toy sheet introducing you to your mythical beastie, as well as talking about how to use it safely and how to care for it.  It doesn’t come with their Cum Lube, but I highly recommend to buy it as an add-on with their products as this stuff is super slippery and everlasting…  Just life a fantasy fairytale, it will leave you happily-ever-after.

Thank you to Bad Dragon for allowing me to review their amazing creations!  Check out their entire line of fantastic dragon creature sex toys.