BDSM – Getting Prepared and Aftercare

As some of you probably know, BDSM stands for Bondage, Discipline or Domination, Sadism, and Masochism. It is basically the act of dominating and being dominated, sometimes associated with leather outfits, handcuffs and whips. The idea is that people role-play certain situations with each other in order to feel sexual arousal. It might sound like people giving pain to each other and not caring for each other, but it is actually the opposite. There is a lot of care involved in the act, both before and after.

Finding BDSM partners

There are a lot of BDSM communities out there, with dating sites specializing into this kind of practice. The idea is to approach people at the right place in order to minimize rejection. If you contact people on a traditional dating site about bondage, you have more chances of people not replying back, which doesn’t make for a very positive experience. Using websites such as My BDSM Hookups will increase your chance of finding the right partners, as you will be in touch with more like-minded people who want to do the same things you do.

Getting prepared

People don’t just throw themselves into BDSM without talking first. In fact there is a lot of talking and explaining happening to make sure people know what they are getting into. Rules get set about what the people are going to do, and they often give each other code words which can be said when the pain gets too much or when someone is not feeling comfortable. Establishing those code words is very important, as people might get confused during roleplay and they might not realise that the person is actually wanting to stop.

The act itself

This may sound strange to a lot of people, but some of us do enjoy the idea of either dominating or being dominated. Imagine that you spend all day at work giving orders and telling people what to do. You might get a bit tired of always being in charge, and you might actually want your bedroom life to be different. By being dominated you are giving power to someone else, allowing them to take control over you. There are in fact a lot of reasons why people will want to practice roleplay and bondage, sometimes it is just to spice up their lives.

Aftercare

The thing about BDSM is that it is not like what you see in movies like ’50 shades of Grey’. In this movie, the guy doesn’t treat the woman well, both before and after the act. This is not how it usually works, there is actually a great amount of care between BDSM partners, especially after the act, and this is what aftercare is. As two people have been giving pain to each other, it is important that they then sit down and comfort each other, just to make sure everything is OK and no one suffers any form of trauma.  It might sound strange that two people giving pain to each other will then hug it out, but that is exactly what is going on there. The most important aspect of BDSM is that you treat your partner well, even if the act itself does not give that impression. BDSM isn’t the horrible thing some movies make it up to be. Sure it can get pretty intense and it is definitely not for everyone, but there are rules to be followed. More than just rules, participants should always ensure that everyone is fine, both during and after the act.